Four Months And Counting...

   In military vernacular, I am a "short timer" for now.   In less than four months I will be "officially" retired!  The end is near, but it has not arrived yet!  Retirement is a tad scary since I have been in full time ministry for fifty years, but it is, also, exciting because I have been in full time ministry for fifty years!
   My fears are real, but not deal breakers!  For example, what will it be like knowing that I do not have to prepare two sermons and a Bible class each week?  This has been my schedule for over 2,500 weeks with very few exceptions.  That represents a lot of hours of personal study, sermon preparation, and in depth prayers.  There have been many sleepless Saturday nights wondering if I was properly prepared for Sunday's tasks.  All of the above makes me wonder what it is going to be like that first Sunday sitting listening to someone else preach and teach.  I do not want to be a critic, but will it be hard not to be?  I do not know, but I sure hope not!
   There is a fear that I will put myself on a shelf and gather dust in the years to come.  I know I am still vibrant and able to communicate clearly, but will there be anyone who will listen or who will even care?  I do not know, but I sure hope so! 
  What I will do each day is a fear that concerns me, but mostly concerns my sweet wife.  I cannot follow her around all day asking, "What can I do now?"  Then there are the financial fears that face every retired person who gives up a lucrative salary for a fixed income.  Is there going to be expenses that I have not considered?  Will the "nest egg" and a monthly check sufficiently meet our needs?  What about those unexpected emergencies?
   The fears are real...very real, but the dreams are the motivation!  Serving God on a daily basis because you want to, not because it is a part of a job description.  Taking a warm meal to a man living under a bridge because you can and not because it is a part of an organized ministry.  Offering a word of encouragement to that person who has given up on themselves and life because they respect your wisdom in such matters.  Visiting other churches that you have always wanted to visit but you could not do so because you were always busy on Sundays.  Deciding on a Saturday afternoon to go away for the weekend without having to seek permission to be away for a few hours. 
   Oh, yes, the dreams are real, exciting, and eagerly awaited!  Only when the fears outweigh the dreams is there really a problem, so I accentuate the positives and count the days until retirement!